It is now 1:00 PM on a blistering hot afternoon, and i am safely ensconced in my living room after having completed the ultimate suburbanite rite of passage! yes, I went to Walmart! Why is it that every time I go into one of these big " One stop shopping" stores, I feel like shouting out " Gentlemen, start yer engines! Git r done!" And today, I must say, I fit right in. Cut off jeans, baseball cap, tee shirt( exposing my splendid tractor tan!) and ratty old sneakers. To be honest, I probably looked like I was on my lunch break from Bubba's BBQ and Bait Shop, looking for a shiny new shotgun. In fact, I was looking for some golf shorts.
So, there I was, amidst all the overweight Mommas in sundressses and flip flops, screaming kids in tow, all of us looking for that bargain basement deal. The kids of course, had other plans. " Where's the Harry Potter stuff? You said we could go to MacDonalds! Mom, Davey said you were gonna buy him a beebee gun! Are we done yet?" The Moms look at me and smile thru gritted teeth, but i know that as soon as I am around the corner and out of sight, I am going to hear " Whack!"
Well, I made it safely to the golf section, feeling very proud at having dodged another bullet. Not a Mom or kid in sight. Now, time to shop. By the way, did I mention I speed shop? Just ask my beautiful sister June. " Yep, these'll do." " Would you like to try them on?" " Nope, they're fine, thank you." Time to hit the check out counter and that seventeen year old cashier with braces and a uni-brow. Screaming heat hits me as the doors open onto a sea of minivans with Garfield cats stuck to the windows and " baby on board" signs baking in the noon day sun. Now, just one stop left; the grocery store. But, that's another story,,,,,
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2 comments:
I like the way you look at things,,,DJ Rogue,,I look forward to read more,,,keep it up,,it makes me smile !
Hi D.J. Rogue
I love your Walmart post ... just like supermarkets everywhere, 'though bigger, I understand. But the people are the same ...
In Oz people aren't allowed to whack their kids any more and that's for the better! Nothing quite like a showdown in public to make things much worse.
Thanks for dropping into Journeys in Creative Writing. Do you think Pip should solve her problems with a gun? Not generally my style ...
Watch for the next exciting episode.
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